While on that trip, I got to know a woman who has been a gift in my life. Her husband Jonathan was a math professor at Westmont, and I had never taken a class from him but knew him by the impressions students did of him. He had style all his own in how he spoke and interacted with students, and upon first learning that he would be joining us on our trip, no one quite knew what to think.But early on in the trip he and his wife Pat endeared themselves to us. They had been married late in life, and were just shy of their 5 year anniversary when our trip began. Watching them hold hands, look at each other with wrapped attention and adoration, one would have sworn they were newly weds. Even then, when we were all single, they were living marriage role models for all of us to watch, observe and take mental notes.
They joined us for walks, for free time explorations, and for meals. It was fun to watch some of the college-aged guys on the trip engage Dr. Leech, who had seemed a bit more socially reserved. But they opened the door and he boldly entered. I'm sure at Pat's encouragement.
Meanwhile, Pat graciously agreed to lead a group of us women in a bible study, that she took the time to create for us, on becoming a Woman of Wisdom. After returning to Westmont, she continued to lead a bible study for a few of us.
She and I formed a special relationship on the trip where I think we both acted as confidants for each other. I was accidentally privy to some hardships she was enduring on the trip, and it allowed her a space to talk. We had some similarities in our life stories that allowed us both to be in tune with each other. It was a real gift to me.
Once back in Santa Barbara, the Leech's continued to act as mentors, role models, friends and somewhat parents to all of us, just as they had throughout Europe.
Upon graduating that Spring I had an internship that turned into a full-time position. I hadn't planned on staying in Santa Barbara, but since I had a job it made sense. However, 3 months later, the company went under. The day they told me they would be closing the doors at the end of the week I was numb. I had no idea what to do.
I remember driving over to Pat and Jonathan's house, knowing Pat would give me sound advice. Do I stay here and try to find something else, or do I leave, and if I leave, where do I go? The world felt so big, and so did all of the options. I remember sitting on her back patio with her, and she pulled out that days newspaper and said "well, you're here, so let's see what's here, and if you can't find anything, then we'll deal with that when we get there." And I found a job, and I stayed, and then I met guy a year later, and now I am raising my kids in Santa Barbara.
Pat continued to be a friend. As I began dating and then after marrying my husband we continued to have them in our lives. We would share dinner at their house or ours, we would run into each other downtown on date nights. She got to meet my kids and continued to be a warm smile and sweet connection whenever our paths crossed each other.
I got news in April, that Pat passed away. She had a cold, after a week ended up in the ER with an infection and after 2 days in ICU was gone. I hadn't heard any of that until it was over. I was devastated. I selfishly had too many things I still wanted to talk with her about, meals I wanted to share with her, and moments I wanted to remember. She was too young, too healthy and too full of life to be gone
Pat was one of those people who come along too rare in life. She lived each moment to the full. She held herself with gentleness and constraint. She laughed and enjoyed the little and big things around her. Her love and joy for the Lord overflowed. Her faith was real, it permeated her being and it dictated everything about her. She stopped to smell the roses and she pointed them out to everyone along the way.She decided she wanted to get her college degree and in her mid-50's and she made it happen. She had strained relationships with some of her adult children (from her first marriage) and she never gave up hope. Never gave up praying. Never stopped working at it. And she was able to reconcile with each of them. When she would talk, she would light up. When she would see you, you felt like the only person in the world that mattered. Her enthusiasm, her passion and her excitement were always with her.
Pat loved to love on others. Their home was always full of family or friends that needed a place to live for a little while, or a passerby that needed a bed for a few nights. There was an open door and an open invitation that you knew they really wanted you to take them up on. Roger and I would often run into Pat and Jonathan when we were downtown on a date night. They would be walking hand-in-hand on State Street, or sitting at a coffee shop watching the passersby, enjoying each other's company. They had been married almost 20 years, and yet when I saw them, I still saw that newlywed passion and gleam they each had in their eye for the other. Their adoration for each other was endearing. Jonathan, a math professor, called her "Patti- Pi". He knew what a catch he had. And she looked at him with wonder and awe and hung on his every word. After all their years together they both were still so in love.
I am sad that I had been meaning to call them and set a dinner date, because it had been a while and now I will never be able to. I am sad that I will no longer happen to bump into them downtown. I am so sad for Jonathan, to think about him having to face each day with our her, his one true love. She brought him alive. As I sat listening to people share about Pat at her Memorial service this past weekend I was struck by how many she had touched, so deeply and so personally. Everyone in that room that knew her, felt they had a deep and special relationship with her. She cared for and mothered and loved on so many. Each interaction she had with people was real, and genuine and in the moment. It wasn't fleeting, it wasn't generic and it wasn't surfacey. She was deep and real. Always. I love that about her. I want to be more that way.
I am so glad to know that I will get to be with Pat in eternity, but I sure will miss her until then.
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