Rejuvenation

To say that the last year has been exhausting, feels like a bit of an understatement - Physically, emotionally, personally, family, friendships and community.  We have been through a lot, we have helped carry others through a lot, and we have been carried through a lot.  I am grateful for community.  I am grateful that we don't have to walk through difficulties alone.  I am grateful for the blessing of friendships that willingly help carry the load, figuratively and practically.  But this past week I was given the gift of rejuvenation, and I am more grateful for that than words can express.

Roger took Bryan and Kate to Idaho to spend a week camping with his family.  Driving for 2 days, camping for 4 days and driving for 2 more days did not sound too terribly restful to me.  The prep and clean-up of all that alone sounded like more than I had energy for, let alone the effort to make it all happen while getting eaten alive by mosquitoes.  And with the added exhaustion of the months leading up to the trip, I couldn't see how that was the best way to spend a week of vacation.  Though I was sad to miss time with my family, making fun memories with the kids playing with the cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents, I decided a little time alone and with some girlfriends was the right antidote for my current condition.  We sent Isabella off to a respite care family and I loaded up the minivan with the rest of my family and sent them on their way.

Peace, quiet and laughter do the soul good.  I spent the first 24 hours scrubbing my house from top to bottom.  That for me is happiness. I had an entire week to enjoy a clean house, with NO ONE messing it up.  Then I did a 1000 piece puzzle, because I could.  I stayed up late, finished thoughts in my head, processed events from the recent past and threw myself into prepping for a dinner party for some girlfriends.  I felt single again, for the first time in 11 years, and it felt really good.  I got to reconnect with me for a little bit, in the hub-bub of being a wife and mom, I haven't had much chance to do that.

Then I packed some more, but this time it was my own bags.  I headed off to Palm Springs with 4 other women whom I respect, admire and love to be around.  It was the PERFECT getaway.  We have all been in a bible study together for the past 3 years.  We have shared life together, on an intimate, spiritual level.  We have been broken and vulnerable, and continue to maintain that in our friendships.  We hung out in the lazy river, we cooked meals together in the condo, we washed dishes together while laughing.  Our conversations ranged from the deep and challenging to the frivolous and embarrassing.  We laughed and we cried.  We rested and we worked-out.  We slept and we ate.  We discussed our walks with God and we prayed for each other.  And it was SO good! 

I feel ready to take on the school year.  Ready to enjoy my kids.  Ready to throw myself into my marriage with effort and intentionality.  I am refreshed from the inside out, connected to a God that I love and grateful for the time and space to feel whole again.  My encouragement to anyone reading this: Carve out the space to make this happen, the benefits go far beyond yourself.