John 14:15 "If you love me, you will obey what I command"
My 5 1/2 year old has been acting his age lately. He is testing limits, trying out personality traits he sees work for other people and discovering power play with his friends and sister. He is assessing his own strengths in that process while seeking a pecking order for who is really in charge. It has been very challenging to know how to guide him in love, with patience, and in a way that still gets the message across: this behavior is unacceptable. He is talking back, threatening and just plain being mean.
This is not how my kid usually acts. In fact, he has been noted by many for his unusually sweet and sensitive spirit. I realize part of that innocence is lost in the growing up process, but it hurts me to see him intentionally be unkind. And through this parenting challenge, I have had such a clear picture this week of the pain that we cause God in our repeated disobedience.
I have seen my son apologize for a behavior and then hours later replicate the exact same behavior, over and over again. I hear myself reiterating the same reminders, expressing the same consistent rules and policies, and talking through the natural and parental consequences of his actions. Then he chooses to defy them again. I want so badly for him to show his love and respect for me by honoring my wishes. When he chooses to go against those it hurts me.
Yes God, I see now that I do this same thing with you. Please forgive me for being so caught up in trying to figure out my place in this world, that I skip over what I know to be true. And I see clearly what a gift your unconditional love is; your grace that I do not deserve, and the incredible ability you have at welcoming me back with loving, patient and wide open arms each and every time.
Help me to love you so much that I care about what you care about.
Help me to love you so much that I will obey your commands.
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